I Can Laugh Now

I try to ride my bike to work as often as I can. I live close, only 4.5 miles away. It is a nice ride, I go down a pretty busy street in Long Beach, but it has a huge bike lane, for the most part.
There is one section, that the bike lane disappears. It was as if the bike lane design guy got scared and just said "fuck it!" The place it disappears is the one place it is most needed. It is a clusterfuck, traffic getting off the freeway to the right and traffic to my left trying to get over to get on the freeway. I hold my ground and ride the white line...not the white line all the way to the right, because I would end up on the freeway. I ride the white line between the traffic that is getting off the freeway and the traffic getting on the freeway. Usually most drivers coast right on by. Today I was doing my normal white line riding, and a white pick-up pulls up next to me on my right. He takes the time to roll down his window and screams, "get the fuck off the road, you fucking dyke!" I was a little surprised by his greeting. I smiled, which always pisses a pissed off person more. I might have been laughing. As I continued my trek to work it gave me time to reflect on my new commuting friend.

First off, I could have very well slowed him down a few miles per hour making him get to work at least 30 seconds later. So believe you me he should've yelled his little heart out.

Second, how was he so spot on with my sexuality? I was wearing Doc Martins, that could have been a clue for him. I was not wearing any rainbow attire, I do have long hair, but he was spot on. Maybe I look like a dyke more then I think...not that I care. But I did get a good laugh. He has to be a really miserable guy to even bother spewing hate so early in the morning.

20 years ago standing on PCH in Long Beach waiting to get into the Local Lesbian Hotspot, people would drive by and spew hate quite often. It was scary then. No one would protect us, no one would have even taken a complaint. We were venerable, one time a truck of boys even threw beer bottles at us. We would be scared. It would send chills down the back of my neck. It was nothing to laugh about.

Now today, there are still plenty of people full of hate. But I know I can laugh, maybe I am more comfortable with myself. Today if beer bottles were thrown at a group of gay people I believe the cops would be there in a minute. It is taken far more serious now. But plenty of people had to suffer just to get this far. And we have a lot farther to go.

I ride to work the same way at the same time everyday. I am very stalker friendly. I never change my routine...I should I know.
Maybe I will now, at least a few times a week...but not because I am scared of him...I am scared of his big ugly truck.

French and Saunders' Next Top Model

I don't watch Top Model but I still laughed hard at these ladies. Time to laugh it is the weekend!

Karma

I get done spouting my mouth off at the silly dogs all dressed up yesterday and now Homer is sporting a new outfit. Homer got a bad little infection in his paw. He licked all night and drove me nuts. Not until I got a flashlight and got a good look between his pads did I realize the poor boy got something embedded in his little paw. So off to the vet and 204.00 dollars later, Homer has a nice new sock. He is okay and little bit pissed about the tape job but he wants to play and go on a walk as if nothing happened.

Easter Dogs

I wanted to upload these pics yesterday but Blogger and I have a wrestling match every time I want to put pictures on my blog.
Every Easter there is an Easter Dog parade down by the shore. I go every year I am in town. There are hundreds of dogs and owners dressed up for the holiday. I leave Homer at home not wanting to expose him to such ridiculousness. These poor dogs look so adorably miserable. But I return every year. It was a hot day for them too. High 80's with an Easter bonnet on seems a little too much for the pooches.
This is 4 dogs in a tub...no I don't get it.


Check out her hat...to die for...if you look close, she is holding her dog with a cute hat on too.

I know it is hard to tell but there are dogs in them flowers.

Oh and as a nice surprise, Boy and his Main Squeeze got me a little Easter Basket...they are both so sweet.

One Easter to Remember

Through the years I have blocked a lot of memories out. Maybe due to unhappiness, or some type of trauma, that I never want to think about. However, I do remember Easter growing up…not all of them but a few in particular. My Mom went from being very Catholic, to arm waving, evangelical, born-again, I found the lord, Bible thumper. My Dad was never into the church as much as my Mom but he went along and we all followed.
Easter to us was wearing matching spring color dresses, and going to church. No Easter Bunny visited our house that I can remember except for one time. This is the memory that I have never forgotten because it gave me an Easter smile.

I remember getting out of Mass and the Parish Ladies had hidden Easter eggs for us kids. How exciting, but my parents told us no, we never asked why…we just put our little heads down and walked home in our cute little dresses.

When we arrived home, my Grandma Bessie and her 7th husband Jasper (Grandpa Jasper) were waiting. Now to give you a little background my Dad's mother was the complete opposite of my Dad and my Mother was slightly embarrassed of her…as a kid you could tell when Mom was not pleased with certain houseguests. My Grandma is the coolest, she wore bell-bottom pants (sometimes mini-skirts) with high heels, and see through tops always exposing her lacy bras. She carried a little suitcase with her that had her scotch and whiskey and whatever else she needed to keep the alcohol flowing. She was also the only woman to tell my Dad to "shut the hell up!", "leave her alone!" and many other quick to the point remarks that left my Dad silent. She is still causing trouble in a nursing home up in Washington with my Grandpa Jasper. Now Jasper is a quirky dude, but he treated all of us Grandkids as his own. My Mom was always scared he would hug us too long or pay to much attention to us. But he didn't have a perverted bone in his body, he just loved us Hugging wasn't something my Family did to much of so I think it made my mom uncomfortable. They have been married for about 50 years so she finally found that puts up with her fiestyness. She was one lady in my life that did give me hope. It was okay to be different, God didn't punish her for getting divorced 6 times and for wearing see-through tops or for drinking and cussing…she is a survivor. (from the wrath of the lord)

So back to our arrival home from church. Grandpa Jasper met us in the backyard and mumbled something about an Easter bunny. My Mother mumbled something back and then my Grandma said (I remember as if it was yesterday) "Just let the kids have some fun for once, God Dammit!" No one ever argued with Grandma so for once we were going to hunt for gifts from the Easter bunny. They purposely arrived while we were at church to hide eggs and set up Easter baskets. I still remember my little Easter basket, it had plastic eggs that split in half and little candies fell out. I had never seen anything like this; the green fake grass hid little eggs made of chocolate and cute little plastic bunnies. I consumed all the candy as fast as I could, the fear of my mother putting a stop to our fun kept lingering in my little head. The most amazing thing was the basket itself to my surprise and joy it was a cowboy hat. A little cowboy hat that fit me perfect. I was so overjoyed; it was and always has been the best Easter ever. That cowboy hat stayed with me for months, at night I would hang it by the little strings on my bedpost.

I love my Grandparents so much, and I am lucky I have them. I try to visit every time I go up north. They are in their 90's, they have 16 Grandkids, and around 45 Great Grandkids. The last time I was there Grandma still recognized me, I have a fear I will walk in and they won't know which one I am. She remembers me though, she always whispered in my ear how I was her favorite. She might have said that to all of us…but I believed it and it meant something to me.

Four Things

Lovely Lorraine shuffled 4 things my way so here they are:

Four Jobs I have had in my life:
Papergirl
Lifeguard
Navy Aviation Chick
Aerospace Engineer

Four Movies I would watch/have watched over and over:
"Imagine Me and You" (sexy lesbian movie)
"When Night has Fallen" (sexy lesbian movie)
"V for Vendetta"
"Italian Job"


Four Places I have lived:
Centralia, Washington
Lemoore, California
Huntington Beach, California
Long Beach, California

Four TV Shows that I watch:
"Bad Girls" (British show on Logo)
"The Office"
"Reaper"
"The Riches"

Four Places I have visited:
Phuket, Thailand
Palma De Mallorca, Spain
Athens, Greece
Cairns, Australia

Four People who email me regularly:
Boy About Town
Doris
Sundi
WNBA

Four Favorite Foods:
Pizza
Chicken Curry
Chile Verde
Lucky Charms

Four Places I would like to be right now:
In the mountains looking at the full moon
At the beach looking at the full moon
On a sailboat on the Great Barrier Reef
At a women's basketball game

Four Things I am looking forward to this year:
Sex
Women's Final four (basketball)
Homer getting a new buddy
Meeting up with bloggy buddies in California. ( I copied that from Lorraine, because I am lazy)

Yep I erased the 4 people who I think should suffer and do this too. It was actually pretty hard to do. So I hate to see people suffer. Lorraine is Irish and she likes to see people suffer. That is what she told me anyways.

Tagged Twice

I wander around blogland all innocent and enjoying myself and then bang I get tagged, not once but twice.
The first tag I got was quite a while ago, and I keep meaning to get to it so I am finally getting a round to it. Jen tagged me with this one. Oh and by the way I will be breaking all tag rules. I have followed rules my entire and it hasn't got me anywhere special so screw it.

The Rules
Rule 1) List three reasons for your blogging.
Rule 2) List the rules.
Rule 3) Tag three others with the thread.

Okay so three reasons why I blog are:

I needed to let go of shit, I never share stuff with anyone. So I decided to blog, write it out. I still haven't shared a whole hell of a lot but I have met some great people. Sometimes reading other peoples stuff is good for me. It brings back memories, that I have lost. It makes me confront my own issues.
Okay I don't think that was three reasons....but I said I was breaking the rules.
Oh and I am breaking rule number 3 too. I am not tagging anyone.


Now for the second one. Booda got me with this. Oh and I loved her 6 word memoir.
Here are the rules:

1. Write your own six-word memoir.
2. Post it on your blog and include a visual illustration if you’d like.
3. Link to the person that tagged you in your post.
4. Tag five more blogs with links.
5. And don’t forget to leave a comment on the tagged blogs with an invitation to play.

I thought about this more than I should but I realized I am pretty simple. I am easily entertained. It doesn't take a lot to make me laugh, and laughing makes me happy. But it is much simpler than that. So this is me in six words.

Your simple smile, makes me smile.

I also cry real easy so I could have gone the sad route.

Your sad tears, make me cry.

So I am not tagging anyone with this one either, but you are welcome to share your 6 word memoir in the comments or you can harass me. Which will make me feel good and make me laugh.


This picture makes me laugh too.

Saint Patrick's Day

This is a holiday I know nothing about.  Saint Paddy's Day is a day , you have to wear green.  (that is all I know) If you don't have green on you get pinched.  What the hell kind of holiday is that?  We don't get the day off, and everyone at work will be wearing green.  Have you ever just thought about how silly we are?  Even though I am not Irish, I will probably wear green.  Just to protect myself from some jerk that can't wait to pinch someone.  Those type of people probably wait all year long for this holiday, so they can have their annual human contact by pinching people.  In Southern California we have no parades, we don't have any bodies of water to dye green, it is just a normal day but with more DUI stops.  The bars all serve green beer, people have another reason to party, which actually isn't a bad thing, but why green?  I am not a big green (color) fan.  Why couldn't it have been pink or purple.  Green is just boring.  

Another thing is everyone with a name that is slightly Irish seems real proud of this day, that I don't get either.  Stupid green.  I have never been a fan of the Leprechaun either...I think they has something to do with this holiday, but I do love Lucky Charms the cereal. 

One more thing that is Irishy..I think....4 leaf Clovers.  In Washington growing up we would get pretty bored, so one thing we would do is look for a 4 leaf clovers.    I looked for years and there are none it is all a big lie. Stupid waste of time.  

Melissa Etheridge - Kingdom of Heaven

The words to this song are amazing. "My God is Love, My God is peace, My God is you, My God is me."

Guitar solo rocks too.

Homer and Ginger

I made a little video of Homer, he had company tonight, his girlfriend Ginger.  

We have been keeping Homer entertained to keep his mind off his buddy Barney.  

Rest In Peace, Barney

My little guy decided to go check out cat heaven early. His little 2 year old body was in my drive way this morning. I am so glad he tried to make it home and I have some type of closure. The vet said he hadn't been hit by a car or attacked by another animal. So it was a pre-mature heart attack or a bizarre poisoning. He was in great health yesterday morning, Homer and him did their usual chasing each other through the house as I drank my coffee. It was their thing. It made me laugh out loud every morning. I think sometimes that is why they did it. Homer would chase Barney so far, and then Barney would turn and start chasing Homer. It was very entertaining.

Barney was the spawn of the devil though. He would wake me up 7 days a week between 5-530 am. He would then run through my legs until I poured fresh food in his bowl, making me almost fall every morning. He would randomly bite Homer making Homer yelp and then take off like a bat out of hell.

He also had a sweet side. He snuggled with me and Homer every night. He always sat in my brothers lap when he played video games. It was actually a really cute sight. My brother would be killing and destroying other people online like a big bad ass, but there he was sitting in the living room with a little cat in his lap. He would reach down in between battles and give Barney lovin'.

He is probably off playing in the place where all little animals go. Even though his life was short he brought me lots of laughs and sweetness. His purr was so calming. I will miss him dearly.

I'm Listening

"What you're about to hear is a portion of a jaw-dropping speech delivered by an Oklahoma State Representative at a gathering in her district. This is what they say when they think we're not listening." I got this off of Joe My God. Amazing how people think, I am worse then a terrorist.

This video is a very sad truth. The scariest part we are only in March of 2008. Scary stuff.

My Muppet and Meez

I stole this from Willym who stole this from Evilganome who stole it from Gavin...okay  we are all thieves...This is actually a good depiction of me.

You Are Fozzie Bear

"Wocka! Wocka!" You're the life of the party, and you love making people crack up. If only your routine didn't always bomb! You may find more groans than laughs, but always keep the jokes coming.

The Muppet Personality Test

Then Hat has me addicted to the Meez, so I stole this from her.  I chose the choking animation because I choke all the time with my asthma so it is very fitting.

Make-up, High Heels, and Wigs.

This weekend I went to the Long Beach Coronation on the Queen Mary. (very fitting)
Drag Queens from all over the United States and some from other countries showed up to bid farewell to Empress Jackie. Last year Long Beach was fortunate to have Empress Jackie. Empress Jackie is pictured here with the Black and Orange dress on. I had no clue about the Drag Queen scene until recently. Since I was behind the camera during the red carpet interviews I got to learn a bunch. Empress Jackie raised more money for her charity last year, then that charity has ever seen in 20 years.
This event was more of a celebration to what Empress Jackie has accomplished in her reign.






This wonderful looking queen came all the way from Africa.

The outfits were pretty amazing. Oh by the way they had more costume changes then Cher had on her last five final tours.
















This here is my best buddy Ruben with Nicky. Absolutely beautiful. Oh and that is the top of my head next to Nicky's boob. See I do have hair.










Oh and this here is Blow Me Bubbles, she is a Drag Queen from Spokane Washington. The pretty lady next to him is Sam from the HB Skin Salon. She has a vagina....She is real hot.
Blow Me is 6 foot 6 in her heels. She did a pretty awesome performance too. This queen can dance. The next time you see a drag show in town go and watch. They are fun and they raise a ton of money for charity. All these queens have huge hearts.

Nothing on my Mind

I got nothing much today. Except for pictures that I found on my work computer so I thought I would post a few.

This is homer chasing the little ball around in the cat toy. This would have been the best video ever. But at the time I only had my phone handy. The best part was Barney (the cat) sitting on the couch watching, which I did not get in the pic. I know Barney was thinking what a Dumbass his brother is.

This is Barney, when he was a baby, he use to suckle on Homer's nipples. Homer let him. Now that Barney is 2 years old he will he try to suckle every now and then, but I think it hurts Homer cuz he won't put up with it.
Yes, Homer is part Pit bull, ferocious, heh.

I spent the weekend filming drag queens at an event so later this week I will post some highlights.