All My Glass Dildos Are Safe

We had a good shaker here in Southern California today. I haven't felt one of those in a while so it was a good wake up call to finally install the wall hooks to my cabinet, so it doesn't fall on my doggie. I had to help teach today so I was in the basement of an 8 story building. We had just let class out to lunch and we started shaking. We were mostly jerking and the noise was creepy. It was that loud noise that you hear when an 8 story building is about to fall on your head. Well it didn't fall....it just shook. No damage done. I guess I missed a good ride on the upper floors they said they were rolling instead of shaking....which is always a fun ride.

My biggest fear is Homer...he is a real emotional boy and I was scared he was all alone freaked out. Luckily I emailed a few friends as soon as it happened..since my cellphone and our land lines didnt work...but the internets work.
So this is what happens...all local land lines are used for emergency (police, fire, 911) use only...the trick is if you are out of state you can get through.(sometimes) Cell phones were down for a few hours...sucked. Anyways...I got a hold of Lost via email and she called my neighbor's land line to go check on Homer...isn't that sweet. I got an email back saying Homer was safe...that piece of mind knowing someone is safe is priceless. Lost was also very nice and called my neighbors mom to check on her. So now if anyone has an emergency...we have tested this, it works...but emailing someone is the best. I haven't taught Homer how to email me yet...the whole no thumbs thing gets in the way.

This is also the best time to get rid of obnoxious gifts that you have received from friends or family that you feel the need to display when they come by. "Oh Mom, you know that hideous ceramic horse you got me for Christmas? It fell in the earthquake. I thought of you as soon as I saw the pieces across the floor. Please don't buy a replacement ..it can never be replaced."

I would never say anything like that. How awful...that is like lying about how big your breasticles are.

Half Naked Women

Wonder how many people will google naked women and end up here? I went to the Long Beach AVP (Beach Volleyball). I was actually suppose to be out of town this weekend but plans changed and it turned out to be a great weekend in the LB. I saw Mama Mia. As much as I love the music, the play, and Meryl Streep, what were they thinking casting Remington Steele? Anycrap, the casting was horrible except for Meryl. We went to the late night showing on Saturday and there where only about 7 of us in the theatre. So three of us did attempt to get up and dance at key moments, but we weren't feeling it with an empty theatre. Moving on...Sunday I forced myself to go watch the half naked women of the AVP. Here are a few pictures.


This is Holly McPeak, she is 39 years old. Gorgeous body. She is retiring after this season...She is just a great looking woman and athlete.


The two greats in Beach Volleyball...McPeak and Misty May. Both of these girls are about 5 foot 7 or 8....Below is Kerri Walsh...showing you what 6 foot 3 and good air gets you.


I took more pics. You may view them here. If you choose slideshow they will be bigger and better.
Misty May and Kerri Walsh seem unstoppable this year...I can't wait to see them in the Olympics. Actually I can't wait till the Olympics start. I am giddy and full of excitement.

Something to Make Me Smile

I will attempt to record Homer someday soon. He can say MAMA. It is hard to make out but I can hear it and that is all that counts.

Internut Frauds

Some of you already know this story…it just brings up a great topic and has been on my mind. Recently a Blogger named Cooper/Nikki a Gay single father, has been found to be a woman that was plagiarizing one blog to tell his/her make believe story. Here is the blog and story that caught him. Here is the story in a nutshell from Joe.My.God. Click on the links…I will wait.

So it has me thinking, what if some of the blogs I read aren’t the people I think they are? I don’t mean if they are pretty, tall, skinny, fat, short, etc…I am talking about if they are male, female, gay or straight. Should it matter? Well I think so. I want to believe Sling is a man without a shirt on that makes cabinets for a living. Actually, I do believe that cause Hat and Lorraine verified it on their visit. As far as being straight or gay, well it might not be as important, but if your blog is about being gay, then it is important. What about my other blog friends or as Father Tony says…our imaginary friends until we meet them for real? (He actually said it with proper grammar and a lot classier)

Well with what recently happened with me in real life…you can’t always trust real life people either. So, I guess we go on our gut feel. I had a gut feel that something was different about my real life fraud, but I didn’t act on it.

I read Coopers blog from time to time, before it became private. When I first heard the news I really didn’t believe it. I thought it was a hoax within a hoax. I am bummed for the people who were close to Cooper. I can’t imagine some of the bloggers that I share emails with and comments with if they turned out to be someone living in a make believe world.

So when I do meet any of you in real life…oh I will hunt you down…(just kidding) I hope you all have big breast like I claim to have.

July in Southern California

I went to the East West Tennis Tournament last night. Most of the top ranked women have dropped out cuz of the Olympics in a few weeks. Overall it was nice to watch a few matches even though it wasn't Lindsey Davenport or Venus WIlliams. It was the first night of an entire week of tennis. For the record I took this picture last night..around 7:00 pm. Now yesterday was a nice day in Long Beach around 80 degrees. The more inland you go the hotter it gets. So I thought this lady was a bit overdressed in her fur coat...it really isnt cold here. I was in shorts and a light sweat shirt. So this lady wins the fan fashion show. Really??? A fur coat in July?



This is the first time I have taken my camera to an event in a while...well I always have my phone camera...but not my big camera. It was a nice break not taking it...but I had a good time taking shots again.

Strangest Outfit.




Best Biceps


That chick had such a rock hard body and was absolutely fun to watch. EDIT: thanks to Lost...her name is Samantha Stosur, she is from Australia. Oh and she kicked butt last night. She is only ranked 87th but she is still young.

Sweet Naked Nipple

My weekend was busy but not as busy as usual. Still, no time to get things done around my shack that I call home.
I went and saw Batman…it was creepy awesome. I recommend this movie. Don’t wait for Netflix go spend the 12 bucks..oh and that reminds me. It is 12 bucks in LA. Is that the going rate elsewhere? I know Lost in Colorado paid a lot less. What the hell is up with that?
I am bummed I didn’t make it to Mama Mia. I will try to squeeze that in this week.

I went to a Major League Soccer Match, the LA Chivas and the New England Revolution…I have never been to a pro soccer match before…it was very fun.
A friend of mine is related to the coach of the Revolution, so we cheered for the visiting team. That was a weird feeling, I was waiting to get soda thrown at me…you know all the crazy soccer fan stories you read. Well they did not throw anything at me..so I cannot be a sad victim today and rant to you how awful humans have become…I will save that for a future post.

I also did a bunch of other things…but nothing as important as being naked. I once texted (is that even a word) a friend that I was home safe and I was naked. This has blown into a major nakedness text fest. I now have about 20 people that have text me about being naked..or that they are naked. I have 50 plus text alone just about nakedness. Which is sort of cool. I guess, if they were really naked it would be even cooler. Some really big naked surprises too. A few people who I never even thought got naked have text me that they are. Oh, it makes me giddy. So now for a change I will text that same friend, call her Sweet Nipple, and see if the same sweet naked nipple text fest happens again. I will keep all you Sweet Nipples posted.

This is Worth the Few Minutes

HISTORIA DE UN LETRERO (THE STORY OF A SIGN)

Catching Up

Well, a ton of things have happened over the last few days, somethings have come as a surprising relief. Other things that have been keeping me busy and to the point that I am home resting to get fired up for the rest of the week.

The weekend was nonstop, I went to a Semi-Pro baseball game with a group of friends and got molested by the mascot. The mascot was funny for the first few times, hugging, blowing me kisses...I would turn red and my friends would laugh. But after the 20th time it really wasn't funny anymore....borderline creepy.
So last night when I was at the Sparks (WNBA) game I realized I now have a fear of the mascots. Sparky came close to where we were sitting and I cringed.

Add that to my list of phobias now.

I realized I have gone out and socialized for about 2 weeks straight. I haven't had any ME time. I woke up with a little ear ache this morning and that was enough to say....oh I should stay home...yes. My ear isn't bad it is mostly an excuse to spend quality time with Homer and get some things done around the house. I have been walking Homer his normal 3 mikes a day but he still needs the time on the couch when we watch senseless TV and cuddle.

So that is what I did, I did laundry, mowed the grass, and cuddled with Homer. Very Relaxing. I still have plans for tonight, and tomorrow I am suppose to go to Outfest, Thursday the concert in the park...but today...it was a re-charge. I couldn't even look at my computer until I spent time with Homer. Oh I also bathed him...he is mad at me now...that is why I have a few minutes to catch-up. Here is a few quick shots of grumpy...but clean.





Two head on shots of him...out of about 20. I need to put a squeaky toy on my camera so he will look at me.

He Has The Look

Homer loves to give me the side glance now when I take his picture. He thinks he is america's top model. Anyways this always makes me laugh. I really need to video him being all, "I'm to good for your camera".

My Lungs Suck

I had a wonderful weekend. But it ended with a bang. As I was getting ready to go to work on Monday.. literally walk out the door i had a bad asthma attack. It caught me off guard, usually I can feel them coming but this one was out of the blue. So I called in sick and sucked up some steroids..laid down and just rested. I had learned to meditate to help calm me after an attack but my brain was having nothing to do with that. I was completely shocked at the suddenness and then I go into how and what caused this mode.

So to rewind..I woke up on the fourth of July set out to ride my bike 30 miles.


I was just about to enter Sunset beach when I encountered a really thick fog.


Now once I saw the fog, first I thought how cool and I took a picture...then I thought...dammit all those inlanders are going to be driving down PCH trying to get the best spot for the Holiday. Meaning they are not use to the road and probably wont be looking for a cyclist, which since it was a perfectly clear morning I did not wear any brite colors..black shorts and a white and grey jersey. Perfect for camouflage in the fog. So I rode a couple miles in the fog...cuz it was cool and then turned around cut my ride to 24 miles instead.

The moisture from the fog can cause my asthma to flare...but it didnt..strong as a dolphin.

I went up to a party to watch the fireworks on Signal Hill...which is a hill in Long Beach that has a great view. On a clear day.





These pictures were taken on the 4th. Pretty bad, usually it isnt brown. Both these pictures have the ocean in them, you just can't tell from the smog..er smoke. Oh and the picture with the Pyramid is looking down near my house. Gross huh?..and I was on the hill meaning I was probably breathing in that lovely brown stuff. However; I survived the night and the next day..no asthma. Then the next day I contiued to ride my bike work out nothing. So what ever it was that caught me Monday morning I may never know. Now all that brown is not something we see everyday..it is not always that bad anymore..it has gotten better. There is fires north of us...but the wind wasn't right..but who knows. So I have no answers at all..now I always need to be aware..of an attack...I can't assume I will feel it coming. Thank buddha I wasn't on my bike at the time of the attack.

Random Pictures

I took random pictures this weekend. Mostly for entertainment purposes and of course to share with the blogger world small little moments of my life.

I went to a cute neighborhood party...not my neighborhood....this is a party in Long Beach that happens every year...it brings a small town feel to a big town. I have a friend who lives there so I went down to enjoy the food, drink...and cake walk. Yes, they had a cake walk...with a ton of cakes. I played but did not win..but had a fun time anyway...Here is one of the many cakes.




Uncle Sam was there too.





This is my favorite picture..We took the train to the Staples Center in LA to go se the Sparks play. The train is packed nowadays. Standing room only. It is only buck 25 to get there, I guess people are starting to realize how easy it is to save money by getting on the train.. 35 minutes to take you downtown versus an good hour plus waiting in traffic and paying for parking. Last year this time you could have a whole train car to yourself. Anyways, the lady I took the picture of sat down and went right to sleep. She was snoring so loud, every one in the car started giggling. She must have been really tired and felt safe to doze off for her ride.



Random toes, mine our the blue ones...

Where the Hell Is Matt?

I saw this surfing the internets...and really liked it. So will you...


Where the Hell is Matt? (2008) from Matthew Harding on Vimeo.

This Makes Me Smile

I know you can see millions of these on the YouTube...but this one is a good one to smile too...at 51 seconds the little Kitty does a cute little pounce...to die for.



Have A Happy Fourth!

Cooking with Sage

Have I ever mentioned I can boil eggs super good. I make a killer 3 minute egg. That is about it. The other night my neighbor was cooking the fish that I caught, now technically I could have cooked it. But I would have only cooked the fish and called it dinner...she made salad and fresh green beans. I would have never thought of that. I am just lazy I guess. Or just want someone to do it for me...which still makes me lazy. Oh by the way ...right now I am microwaving a potato...it will get salsa on top of it and will be called my dinner.





See this guy up there...he is a smart bird...he sits on the bait barge and gets his food. The bait barge is a place in the harbor that your fishing boat stops at to get the bait...it is full of anchovies, squid, and something else... So why should he actually put effort into hunting his food...it is right there for him....sorta like microwaving a potato for dinner.